about my dieting...

so, you know a little bit more about who i am, but why am i dieting you ask? well, i am a full time college senior. i will be graduating in the spring with my bfa in acting. and holy shit is acting hard to get in to when you are chubby. really hard. i worked at an internship over the summer for the nicest women ever and one of my jobs was to sort through bins of headshots and throw out any that had a low score or no score at all, and some of them...geez, they had "fat" and "disgusting" written all over them. it's the reality of the business, and i can say it disgusts me and i think it's a terrible thing all i want, but that doesn't change the fact that it is true.

i am 180 pounds. i want to be 130 pounds. i got close almost 2 years ago. in spring of 2009, i started the medifast diet. and i was really good on it. lost 25 pounds in 2 months. it was awesome, i looked great! i stopped at 140 pounds for money reasons. but transitioning off was so hard, because you don't eat anything resembling real food and there is no lesson in portion control. so, i gained back about 10/15 pounds and bounced around the 150-155 area. not too bad, still looked good, felt okay, and everything was smiles. until this summer. i have ovarian cysts, and so when i am not on birth control, it fucks my shit up. i had to go off birth control because of health insurance reasons and i have ballooned up. it's so gross. i am bigger than i have ever been in my life. but not for long!

i have been meaning to lose weight for a while now, but the biggest trigger has been something that happened to me last wednesday. i volunteered to help a film student out with her capstone film and am taking a lot of time out of my own schedule to help her with it. on wednesday i was in the building where my classes are and was walking down the stairs to meet up with her, and i heard a voice down the steps. for some reason, who knows why, my impulse was to stop and listen. i should have never done that. it was the director of the movie i am helping out with. she was talking about me and the other girl in the movie. she said to her cameraman, "you cannot hit on my actresses. one of them is really really hot, she's really tall, got long tan legs. she's really hot. they other one....eh, she's alright i guess. she's pretty fat."

as you might be able to guess, i am not the first one she was talking about.


i stood there frozen for 10 minutes. i had to call my good friend and he had to talk me in to going down there. i wanted to run back to my room crying and stuff my face full of pizza. but he gave me the "better person" speech and i went down. god, i haven't felt that way since i was in middle school. it was a terrible feeling! so, after that, i knew i needed to face the reality of the business, and if i seriously wanted to pursue it, i really had to conform, no matter what. so that is what i am trying to do!

don't get me wrong, this isn't all for theatre and vanity, i also genuinely feel like shit about myself and need to confidence boost in my life and i really need to get in shape. so that's my story in a nutshell. nutrisystem gets here today!

introduction.

i guess the best place to start would be to introduce myself to you all, and to list my intentions of this blog.

my name is ariel, but you can just call me the P.D. as hinted to in the name of this blog, i am a really picky eater. really picky. i am constantly trying to expand my horizons as an eater, and having a blog like this will help me. i am getting ready to start the nutrisystem diet, as i do much better on really structured diets. i once lost 25 pounds on the medifast diet, and kept the weight off relatively well after transitioning off, but over a year later gained it all back and then some. i think that medifast was harder to  transition off of because it lacks any resemblance to real food, unlike nutrisystem. so i am excited to see how this works out.

for this blog, i will be doing this mostly for me, but also for any readers who are interested in finding out more about nutrisystem or how to diet while being a picky eater. i will be taking pictures of and rating all of my nutrisystem meals, as well as talking about the ways i am doctoring them (which is something i enjoyed doing quite a bit with medifast, and something that seems very popular in the nutrisystem community) to make them tastier. so please, stick with me and enjoy it all!

until my order arrives, i will be updating this blog with more introductory stuff to go through, like who i am and why and how much weight i have to lose.